


my shadow as company

by crookedspoon



Series: How to Train Your Eldritch Horror [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack and Angst, Eldritch Dick Grayson, M/M, Mentioned Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Jason Todd, POV Jason Todd, Sick Dick Grayson, Tentatodd Week 2020, Tumblr: Tentatodd Week, Zombie Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: The one in which Jason has to deal with Dick being ill and devolving into a pile of whiny goo.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: How to Train Your Eldritch Horror [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1281173
Comments: 12
Kudos: 111





	my shadow as company

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LullabyDance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LullabyDance/gifts).



> When I said I was done writing for the week, I totally spaced on Eldritch, which I initially wanted to write for Demons & Magic, but on second thought it doesn't fit, so I'm using it for Free Day.
> 
> This was inspired when the lovely Anne shared a WIP with me of Jason holding a black blob of eyes and teeth and tentacles on Valentine's Day of last year. (I know, so romantic!) As always, I was slow to make something out of it. Happy belated birthday, too, my best gremlin!

Dick can be a handful. Or an armful. _Several_ armfuls. 

There are perhaps no adequate units of measurement that would help to quantify both Dick's mass and the amount of nerves he's costing Jason. At least none that Jason can think of.

Not that Dick is giving him enough peace and quiet to think.

He is constantly whining in the back of Jason's mind, and if he's not whining, he's busy nibbling on Jason with his myriad of sharp teeth.

"If you bite off a finger," Jason grumps, "I swear I'll make sure you choke on it."

 _But I'm hungryyy,_ Dick's whiny, disembodied voice informs him. _And I can't choke. Even though I feel like I'm drowning in mucus._

" _You_ feel like you're drowning in mucus?"

What the fuck is Jason supposed to say? Dick has devolved into a dark blob of goo and he's clinging to Jason, unwilling to let go. It's a bit like carrying a toddler strapped to your front _and_ back, only that Dick is a lot heavier and a lot more difficult to keep silent. And a lot more shapeless, besides.

So Jason has basically been trying to go about his morning wearing a shadowy parka made of eyes and teeth and tentacles that get in the way of everything. As if disrupting Jason were making Dick feel any better.

"Quit it," Jason said when Dick kept poking one of his tendrils into Jason's mouth as he was trying to brush his teeth. (Very important when you're undead, even if holes in your teeth are the least of your problems.)

"Quit it," he said when Dick's tendrils kept pulling at his hair as he was trying to brush it.

"Quit it," he said when Dick kept stealing tomato slices off his bagel with his sharp-toothed tentacles. (Though, better Dick munch on them than on Jason.)

"Seriously, knock it the fuck off," he said when Dick kept hugging Jason's head and oozing over his eyes until Jason could no longer see the electronics he was trying to work with.

He doesn't know why Dick can't just stay in bed like a normal sick person. Well, maybe for one thing because he is not a normal person. But eldritch beings need rest, too, don't they?

Jason has no idea what eldritch beings need, other than perhaps a steady supply of nightmares to keep themselves fed. In any case, good luck trying to keep Dick in bed. There is no way to tie him down, him being a blob and all, and being able to just slip through materials. (The only reason criminals ever managed to tie him up as Robin – if they were brave enough to even get close to him – was because Dick enjoyed it. There was something about the alarm that Bruce felt for his sake, and the relief that washed through him when he did rescue Dick in the end, or so Dick said.) He just rolled around from side to side, twisting himself into weird pretzel shapes until Jason no longer knew which side was which or if it _was_ even a side to begin with. All the while, his tentacles kept writhing into the air as if imploring some higher power to end his suffering.

It would be highly entertaining if Jason were not saddled with it. Because once Dick was done twisting himself up, he leaped at Jason and attached himself to him like a leech. Like, literally. Teeth into his skin and that jazz. Probably sucking him dry, too, who knows?

At first, Jason thought Dick was pulling a prank on him. It _is_ April Fools', after all, and he'd already been expecting nonsense to crop up everywhere. Not necessarily from his boyfriend, though – he's already strange on a daily basis.

But Dick never did enlighten him as to what his joke was about. Which meant it must be serious. Dick has been pressing himself into a human shape for over two decades; it comes naturally to him now, even if he occasionally likes to handwave the details. The only time Dick is not in the body Jason has come to associate with him is when he lacks the concentration or the energy to keep it.

 _Is this what being sick feels like?_

Dick's voice seemed to come from everywhere, echoing inside Jason's mind. But where it usually overwhelms Jason to the point of being aroused by it, today the pitch is all wrong. Too much like an annoying mosquito. Or a swarm of them.

_I feel the way Bruce looks when he is ill._

Jason could practically hear the pout in his voice. When Dick is displeased, he's the epitome of the original frowning face smiley: ":(". Which, to be fair, is cuter than whatever else he could be. Jason takes Dick acting like an unhappy child over him ticking the fuck out any day. (Although watching Dick go batshit on baddies who definitely deserve it is an experience unto itself. Jason gets all hot and bothered every time. Still, he'd rather not be in the middle of it.) Jason has had the distinct displeasure of having his arms and legs ripped off once and it's not exactly an experience he cares to repeat anytime soon.

So if Dick wants to be a menace to Jason's sense of hearing by trying out which of the upper frequencies gets Jason to pity him fastest, let him. Jason can live with that. Everything is better than being terrified of the monster that Dick can become if he somehow loses grip on his humanity.

Which by no means stops Jason from being an ill-tempered ass. He's earned it. And if he hasn't already, taking care of Dick will _give_ him the right.

 _Are you going to be my Alfred and make me better?_ Dick asked, watery blue eyes imploring Jason.

It might have been cute if there had only been two of them blinking at Jason from the dark goop that was Dick.

"Ugh," Jason groaned. "Where's your boyfriend when we need him?"

 _You're my boyfriend, too!_ Dick protested so unhappily Jason was almost sorry he brought it up. _And Roy's._

"Yeah, well, _I'm_ not the boyfriend with the healing powers."

 _But you're here, and you can hug me_ now, _Jason._

It was Dick who was hugging him, kind of awkwardly from all sides, but semantics don't really matter with Dick. He defies reality, so wouldn't he defy meaning as well?

Jason racked his brain trying to remember the remedies Alfred had used on him when he was sick. Back when he was still alive. It didn't help that his brain had felt like Dick did now.

It was only when memories of Alfred taking his temperature resurfaced that Jason noticed Dick was burning up. By his own standards, that is. No wonder he was all melted. Dick usually chilled the already frigid blood in Jason's veins. Now he was like a heated and soggy blanket.

Jason chucked several bags of frozen vegetables at Dick and a tub of ice cream for good measure, hoping it would occupy Dick for a bit, but it all vanished inside Dick's depthless body without lowering his, well, could he call it fever? Jason is not versed in eldritch illnesses.

 _I'm sure it was something Klarion did,_ Dick whined and began scooping up the ice cream he'd fished out of himself with his tentacles. _Want some?_

The way Dick was all but licking at the tub made the display vaguely unappetizing, but Jason is dead. Germs can't kill him anymore and Dick so far hasn't managed either.

"I'll get a spoon."

So now, since Jason can't go anywhere without Dick attached to him, they're both lazing on the bed, with the empty tub on the bedside table and a plastic tarp beneath them. Or, more accurately, Jason is lazing while Dick is snoozing softly, and oozing moisture something fierce. Jason is using him as a pillow – since Dick had been wrapped around his shoulders anyway and didn't take much rearranging; the back of his head and neck is drenched by now and it's vaguely unpleasant, but Dick is resting and that is all that counts. Jason is not going to disturb him after it's taken him forever to read Dick to sleep. Maybe Lovecraft was not the best choice of bedtime story: Dick got too invested in the horror that seemed homey to him. His shadow-limbs were wiggling excitedly.

Jason marks his spot with a finger, closing the book and his eyes. The wailing in the back of his head has muted to a buzz since Dick started to get enraptured. It's calming Jason as well. He runs the fingers of his other hand over Dick's gently waving tentacles and wonders if it's weird not to be bothered by them. If it's weird for him not to care that his boyfriend is not human, and shapeless besides. That the body he usually inhabits is not a real body at all, but more like the bending of light and matter to create a very convincing illusion.

Then again, who is to say that's not what his own body is, as well. He is dead and yet he lives. Or does something like living. He cannot die by conventional means, but he still has feelings, however much he tries to pretend that he doesn't.

A lot of those feelings are wrapped up in Dick – and in Roy, too, he grudgingly admits to himself. 

Truth is, despite his earlier grumbling, Jason would have liked to have Roy around. He misses him, although perhaps not as much as Dick misses him. And Jason hates that. Hates that he's so jealous of Roy _even though_ Dick is right here with him. Hates the history they have that he can't be part of.

Jason likes both Dick and Roy separately, but when they're all together, he can't help but feel like a third wheel. Like he's only a minder for Dick the rest of the time, because Dick won't leave Blüdhaven and Roy won't take Lian out of her familiar environment.

And then there are moments like this, when Jason can be there for Dick alone, and no irrational thoughts or feelings cloud his mind. When he can earn Dick's affection. He doesn't feel so threatened then. 

He hopes that in time, he can see Dick and Roy together without that ugly sting in his chest. Because they deserve that. All three of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "The Current Isolationism" by Camille Rankine.


End file.
